Anxiety in Children

What is Anxiety Anyway?

It’s something that we all experience from time to time, it is a normal reaction that occurs in order to keep us safe from harm.  Perhaps, you’ve narrowly avoided being hit by a car.  You notice your heart is pounding, your breath becomes shallow and fast, your body floods with adrenaline and your blood pressure goes up as glucose dumps from your muscles into your blood stream ready for you to leap to safety.  This is what is commonly coined as the ‘fight or flight’ reaction (you can read more about this in my Adrenal Blog Post), there is also a third response not so commonly spoken of which is the ‘freeze’ response.  Imagine a wild animal darting across the road in front of your car, they stop and stare into your headlights, frozen still.  This is where the brain switches off, so instead of getting an instant reaction to run out of the way, the response is to freeze.  The brain shuts down the capacity to think properly, when this happens a person might not remember events or feel incapable of responding in the moment to a (perceived or real) threat. This is emotional self-preservation at its finest, what because what they perceive is being experiencing is too overwhelming for their nervous systems to deal with.

 These ‘fight, flight or freeze’ responses are part of the primitive survival instinct which happens without our intellectual thought processes being involved. The thought and reasoning centres of the brain are starved of blood to enable the persons strength to be channeled in to physical power needed to survive a life-threatening situation.  After the threat has passed the body will take some down time, and slowly recalibrate, returning internal balance and equilibrium.  However, with stress triggers, like fear of public speaking they are not really physical threats at all.  When the person looses the ability to control the things that trigger these responses we begin to see anxiety patterns develop.  

We know that when we are stressed many people find that their ability to think clearly becomes compromised.  It can be beneficial to utilize mental strategies, and Neuro-Training and kinesiology expands on these benefits by also supporting the person a sub-conscious level. It is said that we are 25% conscious and 75% subconscious, so this approach provides a valid and effective way to support the building of new and better neurological pathways for processing stress and therefore anxiety more effectively.  This method is holistic in its approach because we don’t focus on the problem but on the solution instead.  The anxious person then becomes more confident in other areas that otherwise may have become a new anxiety triggers.

Why Does This Affect Some More Than Others?

Anxiety can be caused by either one or combination of factors.  These include genetic factors, ongoing stress, family background, physical health issues or the experience of trauma.  Anxiety is amplified by perceived internal or external pressure and expectation and the lack of down time or relaxation has a negative effect on the hormones which drive the anxiety response.  Therefore, we can people who suffer from anxiety develop hormone imbalances as their recuperative energy becomes more and more depleted. 

What Does Anxiety Feel Like to Them?

Our minds and bodies are inter-connected.  At any age, how we think affects us physically.  Children may complain of stomach pains, experience diarrhea, headaches and difficulty sleeping.  They maybe emotional and want to stay near you.

Some anxious kids will worry, repetitively think over things which only fuels their anxious feelings.  They may look to you to help them cope by seeking reassurance that the scary thing won’t happen or avoid situations that provoke their feelings.

Okay, Let’s Look at Some Ways in Which You can Help Your Child.

• Spend regular quiet time with your child to foster a loving and open relationship while giving them time to share with you their thoughts, fears and worries. Active listening is when you are engaged in listening and not solving the problem. It can be easier said than done, reassure them but try not to launch into solving problems for them.  This will help to foster resilience.
• Teach your child about anxiety so he/she knows what underlies the thoughts and feelings. I highly recommend ‘Hey Warrior!’ (Young, Karen) a book for kids about anxiety.  Tools like this helps to break up the anxious fear patterns whilst normalising emotions that are uncomfortable and not being understood.
• Because breathing can become shallow and fast with anxiety, a simple yet effective way to calm the body and mind is to take slower deliberate breathes whilst holding the front and back of their head. This will calm the sympathetic nervous system and help to bring the blood supply back into the reasoning and thought part of the brain – which is where the solutions to problems come from.
• Mindfulness is a superpower for the brain and there are a lot of great ways to help kids to practice mindfulness. One fun game is lying on the floor, eyes closed and asking them to tune into their other senses. Ask them to listen carefully for any sounds near or far, to feel any sensations under their hands and body and smell for any scents in the air.  This activity will help to bring the brain out of its fight of flight adrenal response.
• If they are worrying about things over and over in their minds. Let’s say it’s about presenting to their class. Instead of saying, “You’ll be fine, I’ve heard your presentation, it’s wonderful,” or “Don’t worry, all the other kids will be nervous too,” or similar, try this instead: “I understand how you’re feeling, that’s so normal.  I’d feel the same way; is it helpful to keep thinking about it?” No! “Okay, then let’s focus our attention on something we can do to help, like practicing more, making cue cards or going outside to bounce on the trampoline.”  They need to know that you understand, that you get it, and that they are not alone.  This is called ‘active listening’, some parents were not raised with parents who actively listened therefore, this is a skill that you may need to teach yourself.  There are some great YouTube videos and I’d recommend the parenting course Tuning into Kids™ or Tuning into Teens™.
• Understand that screen time does not equate to relaxation for the nervous system, whilst it might look relaxing and even be a tool that you personally use. During screen time the brain continues to compute thousands of visual images as the screen shifts and changes.  This is actually better described as ‘zoning out’ rather than a way of effectively giving the nervous system the rest that it needs to recuperate and relax.  Once the screen time is finished the nervous system is just as wired, sometimes even more so than it was before.
• Regardless of your age, rhythm and routine creates an inner stillness.  The body can relax more deeply because it knows that it does not have to stay on alert for unexpected changes. Routine times for dinner, bed, waking times etc. can all help the nervous system to relax and let down it’s guard.
• Neuro-Training kinesiology is an excellent tool as it works with the sub-conscious to help calm the nervous system and overcome obstacles. It is a brilliant way to work with children of any age, because they do not need to explain what is going on for them with words.  It works deeply on the nervous system, is easy to perform and can achieve outstanding results. 
• And if you are still worried, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor so they can make a diagnosis and decide on the most appropriate treatment.

Support Resources;

Parentline 

Kids Help Line 

1800 Respect Help Line  

Beyond Blue 

Tuning into Kids/Teens Program for Parents 

These services are Australian specific.  If you are reading this article in another country, search for similar support in your region.